Memorial Day

Yesterday was Memorial Day.  A holiday where we honor those who served our country.  There were lots of celebrations for Veterans, both the living and those who have passed on.  In my family we also use the holiday to visit the graves of our parents.  Since both my father and my father-in-law were Veterans, it is appropriate.  They were both Veterans of World War II.  My father was also a Veteran of the Korean Conflict and the Vietnam War.  He, and my mother, are buried in the National Cemetery in New Albany, IN.

Update on my surgery and current condition.

So I thought I would update those of you who read my last post.  I did indeed have my surgery on December 23rd.  The doctors removed a 23 cm, 4 pound, tumor that included my left kidney during the surgery.  Things seemed to go well.  I woke up in the recovery room long enough to hear that I was doing OK and being moved to a room.  Next thing I can remember was being in a small room with lots of IV lines and machines.  I had a 14 inch incision, with 25 staples, running diagonally across my left abdomen and a button to push for happy juice when it hurt.

My digestive system decided to shut down on me so I spend 9 days in the hospital, 8 of them without eating.  Not a diet I would recommend.  I did lose 15 pounds, including the 4 pounds of the tumor, while I was there.  I got to come home on New Year's Eve, so I celebrated with my family by going to sleep at 9:00 PM.  What fun.

The one good thing was that the pathology report was good, actually fantastic.  It said that the cancer was completely contained and that the other glands that the doctor had harvested did not have any cancer in them.  Very good news indeed.

Since I got out of the hospital I have been slowly recovering.  Tired, with little stamina, I have been trying to get better.  I came down with a bad chest cold, so I am trying to get over that.

I returned to work today for the first time.  Boy am I tired.  I'll try to write more later.

My surgery has been scheduled.

My surgery to remove my kidney, and tumor, has been scheduled for December 23rd.  So I will probably still be in the hospital on Christmas day.  Wish is was some other day, but happy to finally get it scheduled.

I am constantly being struck by the irony of having this happen.  While the medical issue is quite significant, I am constantly reminded of being blessed.  By all the support friends and co-workers express, getting closer to my family and realizing how precious each minute has become.  Living in the moment is what I have to do to keep from being overwhelmed by this situation.

One bright spot.  The results from my MRI of my head were normal.  No cancer spread to there at this time.  That is a good thing.

Bad news from the Doctor

So I have been planning for retirement, possibly in January, 2014.  I made an appointment to see one of my Doctor's to try to get a minor problem taken care of before I retire.  While there, they did an x-ray and found that I have a large tumor on my left kidney.  The Doctor says he is 99% sure it is cancer.  What a shock, from taking care of a minor issue, to a life altering diagnosis.

Long story short, I will be having surgery in the next couple of weeks to have the tumor, and my kidney removed.  Only after the tumor is analysed will I know what the tumor is and how my future will be impacted.

There is a chance I will be able to enroll in a research study being conducted here in town.  They take the tumor tissue, mix it was my white blood cells, re inject the white blood cells into my body and hope that they attack any cancer cells that may have spread from the kidney tumor.  I have passed the first step in being accepted for the research study, but have a couple more hurtles to jump before I get the treatment.

I like my life to be uneventful and stable, but of course that is not the case anymore.  Hopefully, my life will stabilize once the surgery has been done, the tumor analysed and a better picture of my future develops.

A book I got for Christmas

My life story.

I got a book for Christmas called something about "Do you remember when".  It basically has pages of "fill in the blanks" for things like where I was born, where I went to school and stuff like that.  It is supposed to be a book that I fill our and give to my grandchild, so she will know me better latter on after I have passed away.  I got to thinking about it and this could be dangerous.  Since my grandchild is only 4 years old, I could leave her with all sorts of things to remember about me.  The time I singlehandedly saved the Earth from Alien Space Invaders.  The time I parted the waters of the river to allow people to walk across.  And all the various other wonderful things I accomplished in my life.  Could be fun, but would it be beneficial?  What should I leave as an inheritance for my grandchild.  What family history should I pass along, from generation to generation?  Should I pass along only the good things that happened?  Would it be helpful for my future generations to not know about the bumps and bruises the family suffered during the course of our lives.  Should the struggles be ignored, and only the victories and triumphs related?

As you can see, I am somewhat conflicted about what I should pass on, and what should be forgotten.  I think I need to think about this a little more before I start to fill in the blanks.

I have a new branch in my family tree!

When I was in elementary school, at the beginning of each school year the teacher would ask us all to tell about what we had done during the summer.  I never had much to say, we very seldom went anywhere or did anything exciting.  If I was asked the same question today, I would have a very unusual tale to tell.  Here it is.

As I mentioned in a earlier post, my Father was in the Army, stationed in Japan, and had told us he had left a daughter there.  I had often thought this was just another of his tall tales he would tell about his life before we knew him.  This summer I learned that my family tree really does extend to Japan.  I finally got to meet that Japanese daughter, my sister, Junko, this summer, 53 years later.

The story of the newly discovered branch of my family tree begins a couple of weeks before Easter 2011 when my brother called me on a week day.  He usually calls on Saturday morning, from the old people's bench at the Walmart, while his wife does their weekly shopping.  It is usually a casual conversation, how are you doing kind of thing, just a brief chat.  This time he had a story to tell me.  He had received a call from a Japanese TV producer, Kenshi Fukuhara, wanting information about our Dad, Willard Overing.  Kenshi was working on a program called "Family History" for NHK, the Japanese public broadcasting network.  Seems they had been contacted by a Japanese Movie Star, Tadanobu Asano, who was trying to find out information about his Grandfather, Willard Overing.  Tadanobu is the son of Junko, the Japanese daughter of my Dad, and my Sister.  Which makes him my Nephew.  Talk about a family tree!

Kenshi called me several times over the new few weeks to ask questions about my father and our life together.  He asked many questions about my Dad.  I answered them as best I could, as many of my memories are growing dim.  Kenshi asked if I would be willing to be interviewed for the TV show he was putting together for NHK, and I agreed.
I searched the Internet for information about them both.  There were no hits for Junko, but Tadanobu is all over the Internet.  I was amazed to see how many movies he has been involved with.  I searched and searched to find out as much as I could about him.  Kenshi had told me that he had acted in the recent American movie "Thor".  I found a poster of him as Hogun, one of the Warriors Three.  A friend of mine and I went to see the movie.  His was a small part, but quite interesting to see him on the screen and know of our relationship.

The day came when the NHK film crew would be arriving in town.  I met Kenshi at their hotel for a brief discussion about the interview, which was scheduled for the next day.  They would come to my house the next morning to film the interview.

The crew arrived the next morning and set up their equipment.  I did not know what to expect as I had never experienced anything like this in the past.  Two lovely young ladies interviewed me.  They would discuss the questions in Japanese, then ask me in english.  They often would rephrase their questions and re ask them, trying to jog my memories.  Much the same technique that police use when questioning criminals.  I would not survive a hard questioning, that is for sure.  They interviewed me for about 4 hours, then we broke for lunch.

My Granddaughter was quite interested in what was going on.

While we were taking a break for lunch, I stated questioning one of the young Japanese women about my sister and her son.  She said to please wait until we started filming again to answer my questions so they could capture my reactions on film.  After lunch they presented me with some lovely lacquer-ware gifts.  I was fascinated with the way they were wrapped.  Nothing like we would do it, on the bias instead of at right angles.  Guess that shows the difference in culture between us.

When we restarted the filming, she showed me pictures of Junko, when she was a small child.  They also had pictures of my Father and Ichiko, Junko's mother, on their wedding day.  When she showed me that picture, I was speechless.  I compared that picture of my Father with a picture of him from early in his Army service, it was definitely the same man.  There was no longer any doubt in my mind that Junko's father and mine were the same person.  I had a Sister and Nephew that I had never met.  My family tree suddenly was stretched across an ocean to a different, mysterious land.  In that one moment, my whole world changed.

Later, in July, I travelled to London, England.  There my brother and I met our Sister and Nephew for the first time.  It was quite emotional for all of us.  By coincidence, it was on my 65th birthday that we met.  What a birthday present, to travel to a distant land, to meet family I had never met before!  I will write more about the trip and meeting soon.

So what was my Dad like?

My Dad was not a very assertive type of person.  He was much more mellow than that.  Seems funny for a man who spent 20 years in the Army.  A career that spanned three Wars.  He never seemed to be very forceful or aggressive.  Probably  passive-aggressive, which everyone thinks of as a lack of bravery.  I don't think it was lack of bravery, just a sense of self that told him what was the best way to get through life.

Dad seemed to be the most comfortable when he was in situations where he understood what was required of him.  That is probably why he fit in so well in the Army.  The open communication of expectations would have helped him to understand what he was supposed to do, and when he was supposed to do it.  The rules of behaviour were quite obvious.

I believe that it was this way with his relationship with my Mother.  She was quite the opposite of my Dad.  She was quite assertive, aggressive would be the better way to say it, and sometimes forceful to extremes.  She dominated my Dad.  I think he tolerated it because it allowed him to be comfortable with his daily existence.  I am sure that if he was not comfortable with it, he would have let us know in some way.

An example my parents relationship comes to mind.  That of a woman and horse plowing a field.  Him, the horse, providing the brute strength to break the ground.  She, seeing the greater goal, providing the direction and purpose to achieve it.  Both contributing their best to reach the goal.  Each in their own way taking care of the other, neither superior or inferior, just striving together to get through another day.

That is what my Dad was like.  A loving, caring man that allowed his wife to set the family goals, and worked with her to achieve them.

I hope you understand.  He had his weaknesses and strengths, just as we all have them.  He got up every morning to face another day.  I think that is the best way to remember him.